So then as this project washes up I’ve been encouraged to reflect on how I approached this whole thing in the first place. What was it that made me switch automatically into “homework mode” and decide, sub-consciously, that I should first be a good boy and attend to the assigned reading?

I used to fly helicopters for a living and I loved it. Amongst many things it was a highly technical game that could be mastered, in a crewed environment which when it was working well was dynamic, and fun, and close-knit and supportive. I was one of the lucky ones.

In a previous post I talked about how having a toolbox of mental resources is one way to ensure we maintain our wellbeing and resilience. In this post we’ll be taking a closer look at some of the basics of this toolbox, in particular some of the fundamental principles around what psychologists mean when they talk about ‘mental skills’ training. 

In part one of this series on Understanding & Maintaining Your Mental Health I outlined one way to think about our mental health and wellbeing - the continuum model. This helps us understand how our wellbeing isn’t permanently fixed, in fact it can vary greatly depending on what’s going on in our lives. In this second part we’re going to look at a way of thinking about keeping ourselves “topped up” via the bucket model of stress and resilience.

I was talking with a mate the other day, successful guy, wife and family, high-flying career and by any measure living the dream. For sure. But as the story too often goes, it came to a point where he realised it kinda just wasn’t working. Nothing really happened, except that slow, dawning realisation.

This could easily degenerate into a rant in amongst all the other rants against goal setting, and given the time of year, against New Year’s resolutions in particular. Look, I’m not against aiming high and missing and landing in the clouds, or however that meme goes that’s serving you up your life advice via your feed. It’s just that goal setting, if that’s all you’ve got going on, won’t work. That’s the news. Happy New Year. 

John is the most insightful person I know who is not a psychologist. In fact, he has such a deep and accurate and perceptive view of the world, he should be a psychologist. Or a social worker, or somehow a helper of people through his gift of understanding. 

Here’s how most people I know answer my casual polite inquiry; “how are you?” 

”Busy!”, or “oh man, so busy”, or sometimes “tired, I’ve been so busy.” 

I’m not currently at work. I’m not sick. Not divorced. Not an amputee. Not a junkie. Not depressed, anxious, OCD, injured, not with an undiagnosable condition, tumour, or cancer. Not hated by the media.

I was a grad student in psychology in 2012 while I retrained after a career as a pilot in the New Zealand Air Force. It was such an enjoyable diversion for me, to indulge in the academics and science, the evidence for this way of describing the human condition and that. The whole thing had me captivated and I thought my new career course was pretty well set; Masters, then PhD, post-doc, and eventually lecturer. An academic psychologist for sure.

There's something about Bali that reveals the Truth. There's something about Bali that shows you where your work is.

How we will do this. The great leap. The opportunity. The thing we set out to sail since when we first got wind of it, maps hidden in books about how to think about living. 

My sunglasses. Particularly now that I have had my prescription put in them.

To take my vitamins, but then I will remember halfway through breakfast or later in the day so that's not so bad.

The mad scramble for my attention. The land-grab swindle and stealing of what should be mine, but which I leak away with nagging regret.

...So whatever that is, it is my finest quality.